orlando bloom

Red Right Hand

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Close up of Orlando Bloom

We’re in Appalachia for Red Right Hand, latest film by the Nelms brothers, Eshom and Ian. And immediately having said Appalachia, the shades start to assemble. Poor lives on the margin. Cackling inbreeds. Illicit drugs. Attack dogs. Tattoos. Guns and hunting. God. The family. Male relationships that seem overly familiar. Check, check, check, check and check (plus a few more). No one seems overly intent on overturning the stereotypes in Orlando Bloom’s latest foray into action-hero territory. This he has been exploring, presumably since he and his agent sat around scratching their heads over what to do with his career – Lord of the Rings must have been lucrative but that was a … Read more

Deep Cover

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Orlando Bloom, Bryce Dallas Howard and Nick Mohammed

Dumb fun, but definitely fun, Deep Cover is written by Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow, of Safety Not Guaranteed (love that film), plus Ben Ashenden, who presumably injected the British sensibility here and there. Knockabout entertainment, it takes most of its inspiration from 1990s action comedies about inadequate characters in hazardous situations. Who knew Orlando Bloom could do comedy? In my darker, more misanthropic moments I have wondered just what exactly Bloom was for after he outgrew elfhood (Legolas, son of Thranduil etc). He’s genuinely funny here, as Marlon, one of three useless would-be improv comedians recruited by an undercover cop (Sean Bean, in full Northern British, “Go on, fuck off” mode). Joining … Read more

Troy

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Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy

A movie for every day of the year – a good one 24 April The fall of Troy, 1184BC On this day in 1184BC, the city of Troy fell after the most famous battle of antiquity. The Trojan War had started after a Trojan, Paris, absconded with Helen, wife of Menelaus, king of Sparta. Helen was reputed to be the most beautiful woman in history and her love had been gifted to Paris by the goddess Aphrodite, as a reward for choosing her (Aphrodite) as the fairest of all the female gods – the so-called Judgement of Paris. Aphrodite had not mentioned to Paris that Helen was already married. Paris, it had been … Read more

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

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keira knightley potc2

Yo ho ho and a bottle of something very rum, this second instalment of Gore Verbinski’s money-spinner is a swirling follow-on from part one and a dizzying lead into part three – it’s all midsection in other words. Tonally, it’s Monty Python’s Life of Blackbeard, but with one big difference. It’s not funny. The question is: is it supposed to be? The actors don’t seem to know, so they all camp it up just to be on the safe side. Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow continues channelling Keith Richards and actually getting Donatella Versace. Orlando Bloom leaps about trying to look like the film is about him. And Keira Knightley looks fiercely gorgeous, … Read more