As any proper conspiracy theorist will tell you, 2012’s The Philadelphia Experiment is a movie based on a true incident, when the US government, at the conclusion of some weird research in 1943, disappeared destroyer escort the USS Eldridge in the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard. According to whichever version of the story you go for, the ship either simply stopping being visible as light waves were bent around it, or it teleported completely to Norfolk, Virginia, before re-appearing in Philadelphia.
According to this second version of the story, when the ship re-appeared some unfortunate sailors had by that point become fused with the ship itself, a detail this retelling of the story leaves in. The film is less a remake of the 1984 movie of the same name than a reworking of the same conspiratorial source material, but one cast member is common to both. In 1984 Michael Paré played a seaman from 1943 having fish-out-of-water adventures in the 1980s. Now he plays an assassin sent in to clean everything (ie everyone) up after experiments to disappear an everyday car accidentally open a rift in “the very fabric of space and time” and cause the USS Eldridge to suddenly re-appear decades after it mysteriously vanished.
In the “seaman unmoored” role this time around is Nicholas Lea as Bill Gardner, the sailor who finds himself decades out of time and, bewildered, turning to a young waitress for help. Molly Gardner (Emilie Ullerup) would be prime romantic love interest (which is the way the 1984 movie went) if she weren’t Bill’s grand-daughter (clue in the name) and, chip off the old block, she has the same sort of right stuff as grandad. Together they bond into a crack investigating duo trying to work out what the heck is going on.
Andy Briggs’s script, like the 1984 movie, gives Bill some comedic moments as the 1940s sailor experiences life in the 21st century – men holding hands, women with piercings, coffee in all its infinite variety – but really his overriding intention is to do this as 1950s sci-fi.
Those are the sort of performances Lea, Ullerup and co are giving. The Philadelphia Experiment is also a reminder of the days when sci-fi was cheap and it was better that way. There is an appealing ramshackle quality to the whole undertaking. It’s nonsense, but honest nonsense.
Talking of which, Malcolm McDowell is in it. His “… and Malcolm McDowell” billing prepping us for a brief appearance. And so it turns out to be. McDowell plays the old guy who invented the tech in the first place, tracked down by Bill Gardner to help him return ship and self to the past. Sit down and do the decades on your fingers, if you like. McDowell was born in 1943. He’s too young. It doesn’t matter. He’s back in his trailer phoning for his driver before you’ve worked out how many decades adrift things are.
I particularly liked Gina Holden’s turn as a government wonk trying to sort out the whole shitshow. The way she turns three-quarter profile to camera and pouts at the end of every one of her lines amused me no end. And I also liked (again for all the wrong reasons) what must be the world’s slowest car chase that wasn’t meant to be funny. Plus, there are already lines in Briggs’s script that have connotations that were never intended. “24 Teslas and counting,” meant something about energy throughput in 2012 but has a different ring to it now.
As said, watch it as a homage to 1950s sci-fi to get the maximum out of it. Paul Ziller’s direction is good and he keeps the action zipping along. The actors are energetic and committed, and are much better than the CGI, which is poor even by the standards of the time but entirely in keeping with the vibe. Lights arc, there are weird noises and crashes, boffins stand around in white coats. You almost expect the original Godzilla to turn up at any point. Really, lots of fun.
The Philadelphia Experiment – Watch it/buy it at Amazon
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© Steve Morrissey 2025
